Doomsday (*)

DOOMSDAY

What the fuck did I just watch? Seriously, I don't understand. Doomsday starts off fairly all right as a riff on 28 Days Later and Resident Evil, with a virus infecting Scotland, but then turns into a riff on Aliens, then Mad Max, then Braveheart with knights on armored horses in the Scottish highlands, then back to Mad Max. As the action heroine lead, a glum Rhona Mitra tightens her jaw, tightens her black tank top, and fights through it all with a "just trying to get this over with" attitude. You and me both, baby. I lost count of many times Mitra got punched in the babymaker. She has one inadvertently funny line when she has to fight a black knight in a Scottish castle where she says, "I must have lost my bloody mind." Maybe you just need to fire your agent. Alexander Siddig and Bob Hoskins have walk ons and look totally lost. You know you're in bad shape when the movie starts off with a voice over by Malcolm McDowell (always the mark of quality), who shows up as a mad scientist ranting and raving while dressed in sheepskins and Scottish regale. What the fuck is this?