Someone tried to tell me tonight the original @starwars Trilogy weren't kids' movies meant for kids. Are you fucking kidding me?
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
"@starwars is very violent! People died!" No shit. It's STAR WARS. They were still kids movies. Kids weren't such pussies in the 70s and 80s
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
Everything about the original @starwars Trilogy was a morality tome meant for children to teach them basic right from wrong. Also, robots.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
.@starwars also teaches children important lessons like always shooting first and if you mouth off in a bar, someone will chop your arm off.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
.@starwars says to trust your feelings and quit school and try to kill your dad if he's evil and you'll get a teddy bear party in the end.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
When kids get older, @starwars teaches to get the girl to say "I love you", tell them you know, and then freeze up. They'll love you more.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
And @starwars teaches kids kissing your sister is hot until you know for sure she's your sister, but you don't let an old man threaten her.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
You can't even imagine how fucked up an entire generation would have been were it not for @starwars teaching them all these lessons as kids.
— John Orquiola (@BackoftheHead) October 21, 2012
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